I find myself saying that my cat died and I feel guilty very often.

My family has said goodbye to 7 cats, 6 dogs, a guinea pig, 3 birds, 2 ferrets, and many fish since about 2009.

I’m not here to say that it gets easier.

But I have been through this many times. So it is easier for me to guide others through pet loss grief.

siamese cat lying on a blanket
Milo died at 17 from liver failure

How to deal with the guilt of losing a cat:

cats cuddling in bed together

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1. Have a funeral

You can say your last goodbyes if you have a funeral. You don’t need to spend money on hiring a service.

However, you and your loved ones should gather in your home or at the vet’s office and take a dedicated moment to say goodbye.

cat playing with wand toy
Our beloved Hemi died at age 3.5 due to kidney failure

This may be not easy. But this is a very important first step.

This is the last time you’ll see your cat. The last time you can touch him.

And the last time you’ll be together.

Cherish this moment and be present.

Say goodbye to your cat with your mind, emotions, and energy if you aren’t ready to speak.

Send gratitude and love to your companion while you say goodbye. Send him off properly.

2. Talk about your cat

Talking about your cat is extremely therapeutic. This will help you to access your memories more vividly.

Talking creates energy and emotion.

Positive energy is so helpful when you feel lost without your companion.

siamese cats cuddling
Half-brothers Cocoa (left) died at age 10 due to dehydration and Milo (right) at age 17 due to liver failure

Share stories with your family and friends—it will make you laugh!

This is especially useful when you’re at the vet’s office saying goodbye.

We need to embrace their lives and be grateful that we were able to share it.

My family was at the vet with a very special doggie of mine. We were saying goodbye.

“Now you’re back with your mama humping her in doggie heaven”.

We thought about her positively. Plus, we remembered another animal friend that we had to say goodbye to.

The dogs are reunited. Knowing this helps ease the pain.

Talking about good times is a great way to honor your cat.

3. Hang a picture of your cat

Take a look through your phone or camera pictures.

Choose a few photos that make you laugh or yell AAAWWWW. Print them.

printed pictures of 2 cats both pushing me away
My first cat Whiskas on the left (she passed away from a heart stroke) and my current cat Jericho on the right

Yes, we can look at millions of digital photos.

But looking at a tangible photo is a much different experience.

Hang the picture somewhere you look often. Now you can see your cat whenever you want.

Sure we can look at our phone pictures. But the physical picture is already right there hanging on the refrigerator.

There are no distractions, no notifications, and the picture doesn’t fade and turn off in 15 seconds.

I printed a picture of my very first family cat and the very first cat I’ve homed without my family’s help.

They are both pushing me away in the pictures.

Being able to see my very first love with my current, displaying their “love” for me, in the same way, makes me smile.

It reminds me that even though I have lost my first cat, other cats out there deserve a loving home.

I keep these 2 photos next to each other on my refrigerator along with many other pictures of my cats and dogs.

Memories of your cats will rush into your mind whenever you look at these pictures.

You could also make a digital scrapbook. Not the same as a printed photo. But they are fun to put together!

Hang a physical picture of your cats. The pictures help you think about the good times and appreciate your lives together.

4. Paint a cat portrait

Being creative is very therapeutic.

A cat portrait is the best way to capture your cat’s personality.

And painting a cat portrait is easier than you think!

cat portrait
Little Kitty passed away around age 10 after a simple surgery didn’t heal properly

Check out my step-by-step cat portrait process (PDF guide that will open automatically, no email opt-in required).

Give it time to load. It’s 9 pages full of pictures.

cat portrait oil painting
A portrait of Hemi

I use water-mixable oils and canvas boards.

Water-mixable oils are nice because you can clean up with soap and water. No yucky solvents are needed.

I highly recommend practicing and painting the portrait yourself.

But you can also find talented pet portrait artists on Etsy.

A cat portrait is a fun way to get creative and display your cat’s personality in your home.

5. Write a letter to your cat

Here’s another form of creativity that can help you deal with pet loss grief.

Get your emotions out on paper. Writing is therapeutic as well.

Writing a letter to your cat can help with grief. You can get your emotions out without judgment.

You’re not sending the letter to anyone.

This letter is for your cat. No pressure, no judgment.

You could journal and write to your cat daily if you want.

Make it work for you.

Getting your emotions out on paper is extremely therapeutic.

6. Remember that your cat loves you

Whether it was a sickness, abrupt happening, or natural causes, the first thing we do is blame ourselves.

This is normal. But we shouldn’t do that or dwell on it.

cute cat orange tabby with folded paws
A real image of Little Kitty

Always remember that you provided a wonderful life for your cat while she was here. And she will love you for it forever.

There are tons of homeless cats out there. Many are euthanized at the shelter. But you opened up your home to him.

He appreciates it and knows that he is just as lucky to have you.

Think about your loving relationship and how happy you made each other.

Think about the love and special bond that you shared.

Acknowledging all of this love will help mend your heart.

7. Celebrate anniversaries

Take a special moment each year (or whenever you want) to remember your loved ones.

siamese mix cat showing off her belly with folded paws
Our beautiful Silky that made it to 20 but it was CKD that took her

This is a wonderful way to keep them in your thoughts.

Get together with friends and family to share stories and photos of your beloved feline friends.

You will help yourself and your friends to mend your hearts when you share these anniversaries.

8. Adopt another cat

You may feel guilty about getting another pet after losing one. But you shouldn’t.

kitten suckling on a blanket
Hemi as a baby after we adopted him

Grieving time is different for everyone.

Don’t worry about it being “too soon” if you feel ready for another cat.

You aren’t replacing anyone.

Cats are part of your family. Cats are part of your life.

It’s weird not having them around after living with them for decades.

You’re also doing a really good thing. Adopting a cat from the shelter can save his life.

Adopting a shelter cat fills your heart with joy, gives a cat a home, saves the cat from euthanasia, and opens up a space for another cat in need.
art therapy cat portrait
A portrait of my current cat Jericho

FAQ

How do you deal with the guilt of losing a pet?

It is not easy to deal with the guilt of losing a pet. But feeling guilty cannot change what happened. Just remember that you provided a home and loved your cat. This is the most important. Learn from your mistakes and improve for the future.

How do you get over a dead cat?

The best way to get over a dead cat is to remember the good times. Think about how happy your cat was and remind yourself that you provided a good home. Talk and laugh about your cat often. Hang a picture of your cat or paint a portrait.

How long is normal to grieve for a pet?

There is no normal amount of time to grieve for a pet. But it is normal to grieve for a pet. The grieving process is different for everyone. Do what works for you. Just remember that you loved your cat and you made him happy.

How am I supposed to live with myself, knowing my cat’s death is my fault?

We all make mistakes. The best way to live with yourself is to accept this. We cannot change the past, but we can improve in the future. Learn from your mistakes and make it right with your next cat.

Final thoughts on pet loss

It’s difficult to imagine our lives without our feline friends.

I feel lost after losing pets. I don’t know who I am without them.

But I’m able to heal faster and remember the good times when I use these tips.

Don’t rush the process. But you also shouldn’t dwell.

Your cat wants you to be happy and cherish the moments you had together.

Adopt another cat when you’re ready.

Learn from your mistakes and correct them with your future cats.

Not sure if you’re ready for another cat? Check out: Am I ready to adopt a cat?

how to process cat loss grief jess caticles